I was prepared for an easy last night in Gloucester when I saw the first of the two August full moons rise. I wanted to sit an observe the moon rising through the hazy clouds and just take it easy.
When I went to my room to pack, I noticed I had far more work left to do than expected. I thought I was down to the minimum amount I could carry, but I still have too many possessions to leave behind. Mild anxiety hit me and I was determined to sort out everything.
The spirits came alive. Memories flooded back and seem to swirl throughout the retreat house. I was the only one around so I dimmed many of the lights. Before I knew it, it was 2:00 a.m. and I was wide awake. I had no thought of sleeping, but I must have fallen asleep around 8:30 p.m. So much to do and my energy was zapped. I hadn't realized all the emotions I had to revisit.
Onward to the frontiers...
So long Gloucester....
Until we meet again....
I am a Jesuit priest of the USA East Province who has an avocation of binding art and creativity to spirituality. I have a SoWa (South End) studio in Boston and I give retreats and spiritual direction using creative techniques to make a person's Ignatian prayer particular and unique. Ignatian Spirituality is the cornerstone of my work; art, poetry, prose is a way to help us get to the heart of conversations in prayer.
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https://predmoresj.blogspot.com/
My heart goes out to you.My own memories are that when you are planning a big move everything comes to a head much sooner than you think.
ReplyDeleteAs you eloquently describe, one minute you seem to have loads of time and before you know it, the time to really go hits you like a sledgehammer !!
All the emotions and memories must make for a tumultuous time. Still, you are now almost there and on the way forward to a grand adventure.
Know you are in in my prayers a this time.
Blessings
It was difficult packing because it entailed sorting and getting rid of lots. I felt like Lord Valdemort who gave away horcruxes to many people so I wouldn't be forgotten. It was difficult to pack and direct the 30-day retreat at the same time. I had little time for emotional processing. Yesterday hit me like a tank. I'm getting closer to heading to Jordan in September. When I left the retreat house tonight, it was dark. No one was there, except Jesus.
DeleteOh John, my prayers and my heart to you!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Fran.
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