A visit to a Neighbor

I went to dinner tonight at the house of two religious sisters who live nearby. I received directions from one of the priests in the house. He told me to cross the road as if I were going to the apartment, take the first left and 3/4 of the way up the road I would come to a house that has a large awning. The house number was 22. There would be little space for a garden, but there would be a grape trellis with no real yard or grass. Everything was exactly as the priest said it would be.

I knocked on the door and it popped open. I saw the lighted Christmas tree and realized I had indeed found the place. It was so easy. I said hello, stepped inside, and a man came out to greet me. We said hello and he invited me in for coffee. He was a Christian. He said it was almost time for wine. He showed me the Christmas tree up close and talked about his family. When I started to ask if he was there for the dinner with the two sisters, he had a blank look on his face. I told him who I was and he was so pleased to meet me. It was obvious to me that I was in the wrong house, but he wanted me to have another cup of coffee.

It turns out that his uncle sold his house to the Jesuits to become the Jesuit Center. He was pleased with how we have developed the property and expanded it. He asked me to come back some time for a glass of wine. I will. He is such a very pleasant and welcoming man, but I told him I had to go because I had no idea how to get to the house where I was expected for dinner fifteen minutes ago. We laughed and I went on my way. What a nice guy!

Guest Submission: Article by Phil Tanny

Mr. Tanner asked to submit this article as a guest. He is working on ways of bringing Catholics together in Maine. His contact information is below:

A Simple Plan To Heal The Catholic Community

As you know, the Catholic community has been shaken in recent years by a regrettable wave of debate, discord and division.

This article suggests a way to bring the Catholic community together, a plan which any Catholic interested in unity can begin to implement immediately.

The solution is simple, if not always easy.

When we're ready to heal and unite our Catholic community we have the choice to...

Shift the focus of Catholic discussions to topics that most Catholics can agree with, and act on, together.

Here are two examples of where we might begin.

Unity Topic #1: Catholic Charities

All Catholics, and non-Catholics too, respect Catholic Charities, the Church's impressive public service wing.

This wide agreement is ripe ground for a healing, and those serious about unity will grab the opportunity to make Catholic Charities a more central part of our conversations.

The army of Catholic bloggers leading discussions across the Web can help by refocusing much of their writing away from unresolvable divisive topics, and towards celebrating and raising money for Catholic Charities, a very Catholic project that all Catholics agree on.

After all, it's hard to make a case that arguing with our fellow Catholics is more important than feeding hungry kids, right?

Unity Topic #2: The Tobacco Companies

As Catholics we are drawn to moral crusades, it's in our DNA.

But too often we have chosen to target each other for judgement, instead of uniting and aiming our considerable moral warfare skills at very real enemies who are far more deserving of our attention.

The tobacco companies kill approximately 100,000 of our fellow Catholics here in the United States each and every year, plus millions more around the globe.

100,000 of our fellow U.S. Catholics killed for profit. Each and every year.  By people who are already very rich.  And who plan to get even richer by selling us more deadly products deliberately designed to be highly addictive, and...

We ever crusading Catholics seem to have little to say about it.

We should fix that.

Instead of going to rhetorical war with each other, we have the choice to invest that same time, energy, passion and talent in to fighting those who are killing hundreds of our fellow Catholics every day.

Every time we rise to speak, put pen to paper, or type our next blog post, we have a choice.

Fight each other, or fight the devil.

A great many lives could be saved if 77 million American Catholics came together as one to confront the tobacco companies.  It could be Catholics that lead the charge, set the example, and celebrate the victory.

None Of Us Need To Surrender

Changing the focus of Catholic discussion to these kind of uniting topics would not require any of us to change our beliefs on controversial issues.

Each of us can still follow our conscience in our personal lives on topics like abortion, contraception, gay marriage, Church leadership issues, and so on. Nothing changes here.

Whether we are traditional or progressive Catholics, none of us have to admit ideological defeat.

We just have to admit that repetitive emotional squabbling with our fellow Catholics on unresolvable hot button topics is not really persuading anybody of anything. Nothing is being accomplished by all the adamant speeches.  Nobody is winning.

We just have to admit that endlessly arguing with our fellow Catholics is weakening our ability to address pressing here and now real world problems, where we could achieve impressive victories, by working together as one.

A Healing Solution

If we really want unity and a healing in our Catholic community, we just need to talk about topics that divide us much less, and talk about topics that unite us much more.

It's the very same common sense plan any of us would use when our relatives arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. On such occasions sensible families try to skip the topics they'll never agree on, because debating those controversial subjects, yet again, accomplishes little but ruining the dinner.

If it's Catholic unity and a healing that we really want, it seems we can really have it, any time we're really ready.  Nobody is stopping us but us.

Whether we are traditional or progressive Catholics, we can rebuild our unity by working together to expand our support for Catholic Charities, and by joining forces in a historic moral crusade against the death for profit tobacco companies.

There's plenty for us to agree on, plenty for us to work on, plenty of dragons for us to slay together.  We could soon be so busy serving others that we'll find we just no longer have time for arguing with our fellow Catholics.

Let's redirect our considerable moral energy towards fighting those world changing battles that we can only win....

If we fight hand in hand together.

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Article by Phil Tanny of http://Catholic-Unity.org

PS: Please feel free to republish this article.

Satisfaction

I have been waiting for a whole week to get a return call from my dentist to replace the temporary cap with a permanent crown. He mentioned that it would only be a few days before he called me in again. I received a call this morning from his secretary to say that it would be another week before he could see me. I didn't trust the message and decided to wait around for another call. It happened. She asked if I could come in at 6:45 p.m., which I thought was late, but I gave my day over to it.

My dentist trained in Greece and he has been practicing for 33 years. He is a nice guy, speaks English well, and is competent. The temporary fillings made me a little suspect about the quality of his work, but my gut said to trust him. As of 6:48 p.m., I have a crown that fits wonderfully and feels so good. I am very pleased with the quality of his work. Besides, he is a likable guy. I would certainly recommend him to a good friend.

It sure is an exercise in patience to try to communicate in English. The people do as well as they can, but I realize I have to increase my proficiency in Arabic. English speakers who learn Arabic say that it takes at least three years to grasp the language and proficiency is a ways off. Still, I am learning to trust the insufficiency of language and be patient with the goodwill that surrounds me.

Since it was my day off, I was planning to go to Umm Qais. With the call from the dentist, I decided to hold back. It was a good thing I did. After an 7.5 hour sleep last night, I slept for 2 hours today and now that it is nearly 10:00 p.m., I am ready to go to bed.

It was a lovely day with temps in the high 60's and bright sunshine.

Ramblings

When I awoke a few days ago, I experienced pleasant dissonance. The morning after a rainy day made it feel like it was a late April spring day. The weather was very warm and there was promise of new growth since the water replenishes life. I sat under the trellis and did my morning prayers as the sun warmed the day. It felt like a long cold New England winter was finally over, but fall is just beginning in Amman. I'll take it.

I do like the rain. I get very excited and no one can understand why. I enjoy having lots of green leafy things around me. I have to get a plant for my room so it feels alive. I'm still looking out for something distinctive that will perk up my room.

I like the cold as well. No one can understand this. I feel like I breathe well and deeply. I am warned by everyone to wear more clothing so I don't get the night sickness again. I have to listen to them since I've been sick three times already. Now, I'm hot because I feel like I am wearing too many layers. I laid down rugs in my office and bedroom so the floors would not be too cold in the morning when I rise. It makes a nice difference because I love to kick off my shoes and be free.

Sometimes I get the sensation that eyes are upon me. I discovered why today. This is not paranoia. We turned the heat of this weekend, maybe prematurely, but the feral cats from the neighborhood find my bedroom window an inviting place to be. They feel the heat from the indoors and from the steady sun that beats down upon the place and they just bask in it. Since they are anxious, whenever I move, they jump down from their perch.

Last week I attended a Thanksgiving Dinner on Friday. Thanksgiving Day was pleasantly quiet and I slowly worked on a few projects. I was glad for the effort and result. I completed the tricky Advent/Christmas schedule of masses.

The meal was terrific: turkey, ham, a light carrot casserole, sweet potatoes, stuffing, lumpy mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, gravy, green bean casserole, and a few tasty tidbits. Desserts were a dish deep apple pie, lots of chocolates, a strawberry cream cake, and dates and cookies with ice cream.

It was the first time I was able to wear my silk jacket. It is a great color. I received complimentary  comments on the fashion.

When I was at dinner, several teachers were there. It dawned upon me that I feel like a first year teacher without a classroom. As a parish priest, I have to run to five different worship sites for Mass and I have to take everything with me. It keeps one feeling unsettled, but everything gets done. It is an image for me to hold in my mind so I always remind myself to be gentle to myself.

On Sunday, since it was very warm outside, I treated myself to a gourmet pizza at lunchtime. It was a three-meat pizza, but it was far from overloaded. Thank God. Toppings are sparse on the pizza, which I enjoy. I sat in my favorite restaurant and had a pie while watching the neighbors pass by. Since it felt like April, my spirits were buoyed.

I upgraded the music player that was in my room. I went to Radio Shack to purchase an atomic clock. Since they didn't have one in stock and ordered one for me, they felt bad they had to call me back to the store. Therefore, they discounted any item for me in the store. I got a good deal and did not pay much for the speaker system. I have been enjoying much better quality music.

I'm delighted to not have to be caught up with Black Friday or Cyber Monday advertisements. I never really bought into it, but the U.S. media does influence consumer patterns a great deal.

I conducted a choir rehearsal Sunday night. It went so well. Choir members who were afraid to sing learned to open up their mouths. We did some stretching and voice techniques and then learned some new songs. They were delighted with what they were learning. They really took to Dona Nobis Pacem because it is a song sung in rounds. I couldn't stop them. They walked out the door singing the song. They were skipping as they walked out the door.

My sock woes continue. I noticed two pairs of socks had holes in them. I did a load of laundry on Sunday and one of the socks that did not have a hole in it disappeared into the machine. I placed aside the ones I would darn. They are good socks. I've had them for at least 8 years.

I had a week of feeling well. I'm thankful for that. Speaking of feeling well, a friend said he wanted to walk daily and asked if I would be his partner. I agreed. The first day he overslept. We decided to go later in the day at 2:30. He never came. Life in Jordan.

Last night, I went to a hotel to meet a man who is the father of three Cheverus students I know. We went to the lounge on the top floor of the Grand Hyatt Amman and had a perrier. Later on his work colleagues stopped by and also had a perrier. We then went out to dinner at a posh restaurant (Fahkr al Dinh) off the Second Circle. It was lovely. Almost twenty-four hours has passed and I still feel stuffed.

At the restaurant, I felt as if I was at a swank Boston or New York hotel. Most of the patrons were very well dressed with very expensive suits. It was quite an evening. One of the nicest appetizers was a steak tartar, but it was made with lamb. Very smooth tasting. I can tell this is the place to see and be seen in Amman. It is where many deals are brokered. It is quite a different environment from the one in which me and my parishioners live. It is good to experience both worlds.

Vigil of Thanksgiving Day in the U.S.

It is the vigil of Thanksgiving Day in the U.S. and I find the atmosphere at the Jesuit Center on Jebel Hussein to be serene. I’m the only person in the building and not much activity is happening out on the streets. Some workers are setting up for the Abdali market below the Center, but the street noise on Al-Razi is quiet. I know I am projecting, but if feels like everyone is settling in for a quiet evening. The cold air (70 degrees) has hampered outdoor activities so the streets roll up earlier when darkness descends.

The Arab culture is aware of, but isn’t quite sure how to celebrate Thanksgiving. The markets sell frozen turkeys and all the ingredients that are used to make a traditional dinner. Fall decorations meagerly dot the mall-scapes, but there aren’t many maple or oak trees here so colored leaves are a foreign decoration for many families. I’m trying to make a few by doing some watercolors, but I am a novice at this craft.

Exteriorly, it will not feel like a holiday in Amman. We’ve been invited to dinner on Friday by a very kind parishioner, but the day itself will be devoid of football games, hearing about traffic jams, turkey drives, meals at shelters, and time with family and friends. We won’t have the two and a half days off that mark the fourth week of November, but we’ll make sure to slow down tomorrow. It is my favorite holiday of all.

I am not fretting what I don’t have because I feel very full from what I do have. I have your friendship and care to support me. I am grateful for the many emails, cards, and Skype sessions that have helped me in my transition during these two plus months. I am touched by your concern for my well-being and your interest in knowing what my life and ministry are like. I’m grateful for your prayers, especially in my three bouts of illness and during a confronting culture shock. You give me reason to thank God for each of you.

I feel like St. Paul in many of his salutations in his letters. This one is from Philippians.  “I thank my God every time I remember you, constantly praying with joy in every one of my prayers for all of you, because of your sharing in the gospel from the first day until now. I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work among you will bring it to completion by the day of Jesus Christ… And this is my prayer: that your love may overflow more and more…” I feel like a missionary in the line of St. Paul.

I’ll tell you what I do miss. I miss being with you when you or a loved one is in the hospital or facing an uncertain medical test. I wish I could be there when a loved one has died or even when a pet had died. I miss sharing your sorrows and fears and your dreams, hopes, and achievements. I miss being there for your birthdays or significant celebrations. I miss singing in the chorus, landscaping, going to coffee houses or museums, and I miss retreat direction. I miss being there as each day passes and we grow a little older. I miss the ordinary things of being with you, having a phone conversation, or going out for a meal. I miss being with you in the ordinariness of your lives.

In our Constitutions, Ignatius and the first founders stress the importance of the “union of hearts and minds” of its members, and you are part of that extended family. I feel secure of that in my work. I’m proud of the many of you who support me and the Jesuit mission in prayer. This is not easy work. It is not an easy place to be. What is easy is that I know Jesus Christ is present to me and to the many people, Muslims, Jews, Christians, or otherwise, who are bearing with suffering or are caring for neighbor in a loving way. It is easy not to think of oneself when others are in such demand.

I am navigating my way. I have the solid support of the Jesuit community in Amman and in New England. I have four co-pastor friends who are my brothers in mission and I’m grateful for their hospitality and good counsel. I have dedicated parish leaders who want a vibrant, meaningful prayer and worship life. I see generous Christians who genuinely want to care for one another. I’m humbled by the goodness I see.

The Middle East is complex beyond belief. Sometimes portrayal of life here is too simplistic because many forces operate below the surface. Tension here is real. We are safe and we know there are undercurrents among the people that can go in any direction. We have solid planning in case anything harmful develops. We are prudent and we are not presumptuous. We know danger can surface in unexpected places, but we know that we, as American Catholics, are not targets of anger. The people are grateful for the work we do for its citizens. Much of the tension is between classes. In fact, many of the situations that are present in U.S. politics are present in this society.

The Amman mission is a “school of the heart.” It teaches one how to survive with limited resources. It causes us to dig deeper into ourselves and into the heart of Christ. We are a small group and we are dependent upon one another. Daily Mass and our one mission keep us united in fraternity. We want to preach the good news of the Risen Christ in a kingdom and region that accepts and tolerates Christians, but has governmental preferences and services for their Islamic citizens. It creates a way of life that I cannot yet describe.

The poor are all around. Refugees from Syria and Iraq and poor workers from Egypt come looking for subsistence work and safety. The tragedy with the poor is that they often do not know what resources are available to them to pull them up from their station in life. Too many make decisions that keep them in their current state or in a downward spiral. Regardless of who they are, I want them to know of the freedom and dignity that are available to them through God. I have no idea if I am making the right choices or making a difference. This is a place where effectiveness cannot be measured and I have to suspend many of my expectations and assumptions. I have no idea what my preaching does for people. The language barrier is immense, but I hope they can see the goodwill and the prayers I have for their happiness. Love and suffering. This is what we all have in common. Love and suffering.

I’ll end now. I just meant to give you a brief update and to say many, many thanks for your care and support. As I say Mass in the morning, I will lift all of you up in prayer. That should set your day right because I am eight hours ahead of you. Know that I will pray for the happiness and warmth of your gatherings tomorrow. I wish you and your loved ones many good moments throughout your day so that you can savor the great love that you have for one another – even in the midst of family arguments, estrangement, and heartbreak. It hurts a great deal because you care a great deal. Enjoy the small details of your day. Linger on the good that is there. I’ve witnessed a great deal of your goodness and I will tell Christ how happy I am to know you.

Thanksgiving blessings.

John

No holiday for us

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day in the U.S. and while it is in the consciousness of many people in Amman, it is not a holiday that is celebrated widely. It will be a work-day for us, but I'm sure we give it its own flare.

After going to the dentist today, I visited one of the local Latin-rite pastors. He is a hoot. His last name is Hizajin, which means he is from a sheikh class in Saudi Arabia. He is from a powerful family. He has the gift of conversation. I learned much about the history of the area and of local tribes. He is a man of passion too. He has a very caring heart and he is always looking out for the Christians on the East Bank. I had a delightful time talking with him.

After a delicious lunch (grilled lamp chops), I took a ride to the Taj Mall. The others in the house did not want to go because it is a wealthy shopping area. I wanted to go merely because they talk about it a lot and I want to experience what it is like. I realize if I ever wanted to feel like I am at home, I'll just go to this place. Most of the stores are American and many are high-end. I like it because it has advanced standards. Smoking is not allowed indoors and the construction of the building is very solid.

On my way to the mall I passed through a tunnel. It is hilarious because whenever a native driver goes through the tunnel, they blow their horn the entire way. It seems like something a child would do. I wonder if the driver is happy he is doing it. If so, good for him or her.

The first store I entered was Pieces of Africa. It had elegant, exotic carvings and ornaments. I spotted a chess set with intricately carved pieces. I would feel like a tribal king playing chess on the soft stone base. Quite nice.

The next store was similar to a hallmark store. All the stuffed animals were of goats, sheep, and vultures. I thought it was an odd combination, but the themes worked. One that that i noticed is that the store clerks always stand very close to you as you look at an item. Because of space boundaries it feels intrusive, but they don't mean it that way. They just want to describe the item to a customer so they can make a sale. I'm a terrible shopper and a good browser.

What's with all the smurfs in Jordan. They are in every mall and in many stores. Their distinctive blue is seen everywhere.

It is still an odd sight to me when I see two men holding hands in public. One security guard was holding the hand of another when he was gladly giving instructions. It is quite innocent and friendly.

I passed by a Nestles' tollhouse store and I thought I might come back and buy three small cookies. It is the first cookie store that I've seen. Most bakeries have cakes and pastries, but no chocolate chip cookies. Then I walked to the food court and I saw all those fast food restaurants. I was sorely tempted to buy chicken tenders at Popeyes or Kentucky Fried Chicken or one of the three other chicken restaurants, but then I realized that I just came from lunch, I really wasn't hungry, and that my real objective was to visit the Starbucks across the street. Once I convinced myself of that, I realized that I still had a full belly. It is amazing what marketing can do to make us feel hungry. At the mall, they are building a P.F. Chang's, which will be open this winter. The supermarket also has many products you can't find elsewhere, like Coke Light and Ginger Ale. I keep wondering if I really want to make Amman conform to my American standards. I also want to be mindful of those who really cannot afford many of the items that we prefer to have.

Starbucks. It was a three-level building and it was just like visiting a Starbucks in the States, except they don't yet believe in decaffeinated coffee or Skinny Vanilla Lattes. Nothing is diet. Anyways, I ordered a Flat White, which I haven't ordered since Australia. It was very good. I had it served with an apple caramel tart since I won't have pie tomorrow. It was my Thanksgiving treat to myself. I felt so good sitting there. When I looked around I saw five other Anglos. I felt like I was back home. Even they were playing a Dean Martin Christmas song on the radio. (Earlier this week, I saw my first Polish  Christmas ad on TV.) I like that most of the sections at Starbucks on non-smoking. Two of the levels are completely smoke-free, while the third level has a third of the floor for smokers. I hesitated going there because I thought the second-hand smoke would be everywhere. It is nice to find this place.

Stale Bread

Every day when our daily bread gets stale, we place it in a paper bag near the trash can in the kitchen. I have been diligent in doing so because I figured our chef collects them to feed the birds when he takes his family on a picnic on Fridays. With six children, I'm sure each one of them would have fun calling the birds nearer to themselves and daring to see who could get the closest. However, I was more than surprised to learn that he collects the bread to give it to the Egyptian trash collectors each week so they can have something to eat!

I visited one of the government hospitals to visit a parishioner's daughter. I am very thankful for the hospitals in the U.S., though I never stayed in one. These hospitals are certainly adequate, but the patients stay three in a room separated by a flimsy curtain. The beds do not have white linens or blankets. They have whatever blankets and sheets are available. The pillows are soft square foam blocks inserted into pillowcases. No phone, no TV, no amenities. I would be bored stiff if I couldn't get up and walk around. There is a doctor for the day. You just have to try your luck. I only was able to see one section of the hospital and the guard who brought me up to the patient heavily smoked a cigarette all the way to the her room.

On the way back to the Jesuit Center, I spotted an ambulance with its sirens going off. I tried to pull over, but no one would let me through. No one would budge for the ambulance. Drivers don't want to give up any space possible. The same happens for police cars. No one moves over because they will lose their coveted spaces. Unbelievable.

So, I came back to the Center and wrote three letters to put in the post. I asked our receptionist for the price of a stamp for these Amman-based letters. He looked at me quizzically and went to get the Center's director. He said, "No problem, Father." I figured I would pay him for stamps later. Instead, the receptionist was asked to drive to these three places to drop them off. Jordan does not have mail delivery and people don't send letters. Oh, I felt bad for making this guy drive to those three places. I would have done it according to a more lenient time schedule. I'm learning every day.