Photos of Istanbul, Turkey

To see photos of the Istanbul, Turkey trip, click on the link below:

1. Istanbul #2

2. The Blue Mosque

3. Istanbul #2

4. Turkish Delights and Sultanhanet

5. Istanbul Evenings

6. Yummy Sweets

7. Garden outside Topkapi Palace

8. Topkapi Palace Grounds

9. From Kalyani Cafe

10. The Palace Gardens

11. Sweeping Views of the Bosphorus

12. Museums, Diwans, and Resting Places

13. Miscellaneous Photos Heading Towards Exit

14. Around Sultanhanet

15. Basilica Cistern

16. Boat Cruise #1

17. Boat Cruise #2

18. Boat Cruise #3

19. Boat Cruise #4

20. Boat Cruise #5

21. Istanbul at Night

22. Turkish Treats

23. Fountain Lights

24. Hagia Sophia #1

25. Hagia Sophia #2

26. Hagia Sophia #3

27. Hagia Sophia #4

28. Hagia Sophia #5

29. Hagia Sophia: The Ruins

30. Hagia Sophia: Roses and Flowers

31. Hagia Sophia: The Baptistry

32. Hagia Sophia: Return to Hotel

33. Grand Bazaar

34. Gulhane Park #1

35. Gulhane Park #2

36. Turkish Taffy and Evening Sights

37. Old Bamboo Weaving Loom2

38. Final Photos: Istanbul

Fr Adolfo Nicolás to resign

20-MAY-2014

The Superior General of the Society of Jesus, Fr Adolfo Nicolás, has announced his intention to resign in late 2016. In a letter to the society released yesterday (May 20), Fr Nicolás said he had informed Pope Francis of his decision, which comes two years ahead of his 80th birthday.

‘Several years have passed since my election as Superior General of the Society and I have recently reached the age of 78. Reflecting on the coming years, I have reached the personal conviction that I should take the needed steps towards submitting my resignation to a General Congregation’, he writes.

‘After having discussed the matter with my Council, through this letter I wish to inform the whole Society that, towards the end of this year, I will convoke the 36th General Congregation, to be held during the final months of the year 2016.’

Fr Nicolás, a Spanish Jesuit, was elected to the post in 2008 after serving as moderator of the Jesuit Conference of East Asia and Oceania. While the position of Superior General - like that of the pope - is a life-long appointment, Fr Nicolás is not the first Jesuit to take this unusual step: his predecessor, Fr Peter-Hans Kolvenbach, also resigned as Superior General of the Jesuits at the age of 79. Fr Kolvenbach noted upon his resignation that ‘the Society of Jesus has the right to be governed and animated by a Jesuit in full possession of his physical and spiritual talents and not by a companion whose energies continue to diminish because of age’.

Co-dependency

While co-dependency seems to be a big issue in people's relationships, I thought I would simply post some information for people to read. It might help some people recognize behaviors that are detrimental to a healthy relationship so they can move towards fuller, happier lives.

Co-Dependency

Co-dependency is a learned behavior that can be passed down from one generation to another. It is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive. Co-dependent behavior is learned by watching and imitating other family members who display this type of behavior.

What is a Dysfunctional Family and How Does it Lead to Co-dependency?

Dysfunctional families do not acknowledge that problems exist. They don’t talk about them or confront them. As a result, family members learn to repress emotions and disregard their own needs. They become “survivors.” They develop behaviors that help them deny, ignore, or avoid difficult emotions. They detach themselves. They don’t talk. They don’t touch. They don’t confront. They don’t feel. They don’t trust. The identity and emotional development of the members of a dysfunctional family are often inhibited

Attention and energy focus on the family member who is ill or addicted. The co-dependent person typically sacrifices his or her needs to take care of a person who is sick. When co-dependents place other people’s health, welfare and safety before their own, they can lose contact with their own needs, desires, and sense of self.

How Do Co-dependent People Behave?

Co-dependents have low self-esteem and look for anything outside of themselves to make them feel better. They find it hard to “be themselves.” Some try to feel better through alcohol, drugs or nicotine - and become addicted. Others may develop compulsive behaviors like workaholism, gambling, or indiscriminate sexual activity.

They have good intentions. They try to take care of a person who is experiencing difficulty, but the caretaking becomes compulsive and defeating. Co-dependents often take on a martyr’s role and become “benefactors” to an individual in need. A wife may cover for her alcoholic husband; a mother may make excuses for a truant child; or a father may “pull some strings” to keep his child from suffering the consequences of delinquent behavior.

The problem is that these repeated rescue attempts allow the needy individual to continue on a destructive course and to become even more dependent on the unhealthy caretaking of the “benefactor.” As this reliance increases, the co-dependent develops a sense of reward and satisfaction from “being needed.” When the caretaking becomes compulsive, the co-dependent feels choiceless and helpless in the relationship, but is unable to break away from the cycle of behavior that causes it. Co-dependents view themselves as victims and are attracted to that same weakness in the love and friendship relationships.

Characteristics of Co-dependent People Are:

An exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others

A tendency to confuse love and pity, with the tendency to “love” people they can pity and rescue

A tendency to do more than their share, all of the time

A tendency to become hurt when people don’t recognize their efforts

An unhealthy dependence on relationships. The co-dependent will do anything to hold on to a relationship; to avoid the feeling of abandonment

An extreme need for approval and recognition

A sense of guilt when asserting themselves

A compelling need to control others

Lack of trust in self and/or others

Fear of being abandoned or alone

Difficulty identifying feelings

Rigidity/difficulty adjusting to change

Problems with intimacy/boundaries

Chronic anger

Lying/dishonesty

Poor communications

Difficulty making decisions

Questionnaire To Identify Signs Of Co-dependency

This condition appears to run in different degrees, whereby the intensity of symptoms are on a spectrum of severity, as opposed to an all or nothing scale. Please note that only a qualified professional can make a diagnosis of co-dependency; not everyone experiencing these symptoms suffers from co-dependency.

1. Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?
2. Are you always worried about others’ opinions of you?
3. Have you ever lived with someone with an alcohol or drug problem?
4. Have you ever lived with someone who hits or belittles you?
5. Are the opinions of others more important than your own?
6. Do you have difficulty adjusting to changes at work or home?
7. Do you feel rejected when significant others spend time with friends?
8. Do you doubt your ability to be who you want to be?
9. Are you uncomfortable expressing your true feelings to others?
10. Have you ever felt inadequate?
11. Do you feel like a “bad person” when you make a mistake?
12. Do you have difficulty taking compliments or gifts?
13. Do you feel humiliation when your child or spouse makes a mistake?
14. Do you think people in your life would go downhill without your constant efforts?
15. Do you frequently wish someone could help you get things done?
16. Do you have difficulty talking to people in authority, such as the police or your boss?
17. Are you confused about who you are or where you are going with your life?
18. Do you have trouble saying “no” when asked for help?
19. Do you have trouble asking for help?
20. Do you have so many things going at once that you can’t do justice to any of them?

If you identify with several of these symptoms; are dissatisfied with yourself or your relationships; you should consider seeking professional help.

How is Co-dependency Treated?

Because co-dependency is usually rooted in a person’s childhood, treatment often involves exploration into early childhood issues and their relationship to current destructive behavior patterns. Treatment includes education, experiential groups, and individual and group therapy through which co-dependents rediscover themselves and identify self-defeating behavior patterns. Treatment also focuses on helping patients getting in touch with feelings that have been buried during childhood and on reconstructing family dynamics. The goal is to allow them to experience their full range of feelings again.

When Co-dependency Hits Home

The first step in changing unhealthy behavior is to understand it. It is important for co-dependents and their family members to educate themselves about the course and cycle of addiction and how it extends into their relationships. Libraries, drug and alcohol abuse treatment centers and mental health centers often offer educational materials and programs to the public.

A lot of change and growth is necessary for the co-dependent and his or her family. Any caretaking behavior that allows or enables abuse to continue in the family needs to be recognized and stopped. The co-dependent must identify and embrace his or her feelings and needs. This may include learning to say “no,” to be loving yet tough, and learning to be self-reliant. People find freedom, love, and serenity in their recovery.

Hope lies in learning more. The more you understand co-dependency the better you can cope with its effects. Reaching out for information and assistance can help someone live a healthier, more fulfilling life.

Pets and Photographs

When I was in Turkey, I saw a number of people with cats and dogs as pets. It made me reflect upon the dearth of pets in Jordan. Sure, some people have them, but it is a small number overall. Cats are mostly left outdoors and if they happen to have an indoor home, most still retain their feral guard about them. I don’t know many people here who can snuggle in a chair with a cat.

The same goes for dogs. Dogs are considered dirty animals, a far cry from the American’s “man’s best friend.” In the farmlands dogs are work animals. I saw on Facebook the other day that a friend from Maine just brought home a Black Labrador pup and I’ve been mourning the loss of a pet. It made me think of the ways people are deprived of the companionship of a furry friend.

I saw my barber the other day as he was walking down the street. He seems so happy and content with his life. Many people visit him because he is a nice guy. I give him a tip, which he no longer refuses, because he takes good effort to make sure I like his craft.

I felt so bad for him the other day when he showed me his tri-fold wallet. He has only one photo in it and it is of himself when he was in his late 20’s. It saddened me because it may be his only photo. Photos are connections with our past and it dawned on me how uprooting it must feel not to be able to have any memories to share with others.

I contrast my cheerful barber with other street vendors. One of them mourns his situation in life; others sit back in their chairs and smoke cigarettes. I want to become their business counselors so they can invigorate their business by making themselves stand out, but, alas, I cannot do that because they are not asking me for it. I just want better for them. I know how hard work, dedication, and a vision can turn things around for people, but this is not my culture and I can’t interfere.

At an LDS gathering last night, one person asked me, “What is your most rewarding part of your ministry?” It felt odd to reply, “To listen to their stories of hardship and suffering.” Each person’s story is different and it is amazing the resiliency of some. Within their stories of heartbreak, I can see much success and transcendence. This is the work I want to be in – to hear and share stories.

I talked with one man this week whose story weakened me. I like this man and my heart wants to do something for him, but my options are so limited. Here is someone who is sincerely asking for help and his circumstance is out of my jurisdiction; then there are others who do not ask for help when I’m capable and available of providing some guidance. What a complex world we live in.

Istanbul Meanderings

During a break from walking, I sat on the rooftop desk to have a nice Turkish coffee. I heard incessant cackling and I realized there was a fight between crows and a cat breaking out on the 20^th level of scaffolding. The birds were the aggressors. They simply did not like the cat resting in its space and it tried to chase the placid cat away. I have a feeling the crows would win out.

A Syrian came to talk with me. He was one of the hotel workers. He is enjoying Turkey but his heart is still in Syria. He cannot believe what a mess it was become. He said, “we had everything there. Now we have nothing.”

I had another talk with a Turk who wanted to speak more frankly about the situation between Turks and Arabs. He was becoming passionate. He cares for the future of Turkey and is not sure it is headed in the right direction politically and he knows that it needs some invigorated economic help. However, he cannot understand how Arabs have not progressed like other peoples in the history of the world. I simply listened.

The hotel staff offered me some nice soup and salad. It was very kind of them. I have never had a hotel staff be so friendly and hospitable. They are only open for four years and they have quite reasonable rates, but the kindness is beyond compare. I’m well pleased.

I took a walk through Gulane Park as I wanted some quiet time. For some reason, being a single traveler, I had more conversations. Gulane Park is adjacent to the Topkapi Palace and leads down to the Galata Bridge and seaway. I returned there to take one photo of the open book that had a water wave wash over it. A friend asked for the inscription so I returned to the area.

The park is expansive. I toured the lower portions, especially to the place where they had flower nurseries. There were quite pleasant people there. Then I walked the perimeter so I could get glimpses of the sea. I will not walk the upper route again because this is the area where young people have sex – right out in the open, even people who are covered. I hastened along to get to the lower pathways.

One observation I have about American travelers. They are the ones who smile, wink, and simply say hello. Many other people want to speak with you so they can get something from you. It is nice just to hear a “hello” because someone is enjoying themselves and connects, if even briefly. A smile can do a lot for people.

I wish I was around in another week because many Hydrangea will bloom.

Faith: I’m very American-centric in my faith. After having two years of experience of a different faith in Jordan, I’m certainly evolving in my beliefs while becoming stronger in my faith in Jesus Christ. Having visited a modern Islamic state, I’m confronted with new thoughts and ideas that will continue to challenge what I believe. I’m glad for it and I realize we have to do a better job of respecting one another in the world, while also holding to clear and distinct boundaries on the international level. More will come on this.

Upon my arrival to Queen Alia International Airport, I notice again the new construction of the expanding airport. This makes me feel good. Jordan has a lot to offer visitors.