Open to the Possibilities

                I often implore retreatants to stay open to God's possibilities. Saying 'yes' to invitations is one way of doing just that. I believe we are happier and healthier when we embrace new opportunities, especially when fear is associated with them. These are the moments we grow inwardly. The most common words Jesus speaks to his disciples are "Peace be with you" and "Do not be afraid." If his resurrection is to mean something, his words will take hold.

                I am sitting at my desk this morning feeling very peaceful. A soft breeze blows through my bedroom window bringing refreshing sounds and smells of a moist sea air. Sunshine is obscured by thin blankets of clouds and it does not diminish the strength of the sun. Lobster ships rush back and forth across the cove as they strive to meet their quotas before the markets open. All is well in God's world. I think about the peace the risen Jesus offers us - a peace that differs from the type the world offers. This peace consoles me though many friends suffer from illness, grief, and heartbreak. This peace from Jesus quiets my soul so I can lift up friends' sufferings and joys to him. I pray that my heart remain open.

                I paid attention to my own advice a couple of weeks ago when I was confronted with an opportunity I thought was beyond my abilities. As if I was an outside observer to myself, I heard my voice repeatedly ask retreatants to remain open. Jesus was asking me to do the same because he knows it is good advice. He knew of limitations and anxieties and he still asked for more.

                I was honored when the well-respected and often-lauded conductor of Chorus North Shore asked me to be a house tenor for a selection of Verdi's Requiem. A house soloist is one who rehearses with the chorus in the place of paid professionals who perform at the concert. If you haven't listened to Verdi's Requiem, you may want to listen on ITunes or YouTube because it is one of the most powerful music pieces in history. The Chorus North Shore performs it on June 2nd in Ipswich, Massachusetts.

                You could imagine I was both honored and flummoxed by the conductor's request. Immediately, I heard the words "stay open." A second thought was, "Why didn't she ask someone more secure in musical abilities," but music is her life's work and she knows something about it. She would not ask if she did not think I could work into it. I received the gift in gratitude and I knew to treat it seriously.

                The section she invited me to sing was the quartet for "the offertorio." It seemed fitting. The offertory is the part of the Mass where the elements of bread and wine are offered to God with the prayers and needs of the entire community. It is a prayer of gratitude and humility as we praise God for divine steadfastness. Additionally, "the offertorio" is perhaps the most moving piece of the whole arrangement. The honor was double. I knew I had to give significant weight to this request though in all humility, the piece was beyond my range. I had to stay open.

                I rehearsed with good friends and they realized the atonal complexity of the piece. I knew I would publicly stumble with singing in front of a well-polished chorus, and they would be very forgiving and encouraging. I declined the invitation in freedom. I wanted to say "yes," but it was at the same time my sister's husband suffered a major heart attack and was admitted to intensive care for four and a half weeks. We continue to pray for his life as many of his organs are ceasing to function. My choice was to stay open to my sister's suffering or to stretch myself as a singer.

                Many friends recently asked me if I like my work. They know I do, and they realize I am dealing with others' sufferings each day. They wonder, "Does it wear you down?" Of course. It is awkward to reply to them by explaining that I enjoy listening to their stories, even though each story contains great suffering. I find Jesus very present in these situations. If it is where the action is, where else would I want to be? Each person's suffering is sacred. Each person needs to be seen and heard and known.

                A hallmark of Jesuit life is availability. It means being open to the possibilities and invitations that come from the Lord through our provincial and Superior General. An area of the world that needs the type of peace the risen Jesus gives is the Middle East. The Superior General considers this as one of the apostolic priorities of the worldwide Jesuits.

 

                In 1932, New England Jesuits were invited by the Pope and Father General to establish a high school, university, and spirituality center in Baghdad. These institutions existed until 1969 when the Ba'athist party rose to power and nationalized the schools. We were expelled. We retained our center in neighboring Jordan and set up a Jesuit Center there, which we have kept as a base for ministry. Today we serve a number of different types of people, but especially Iraqi refugees.

 

                I am newly assigned to Amman, Jordan. I will become pastor of a non-geographic parish that has five worship sites, one that includes the American Embassy. It is unlike a parish setting in the U.S. since it is a heavily Muslim country. Jordan is a kingdom. (Interestingly, an alto in Chorus North Shore was a high school classmate of the Queen.) English is the common language of the churches, but I will begin taking Arabic language classes this summer.

 

                I will make a visit to Jordan in a few weeks. Amman is a city of 2.8 million people. It was a British protectorate until the World Wars when it became an independent nation. It is the most western-friendly city/country in the Middle East. It is a cultural and educational hub for many Arabs and Europeans. It is very safe. The city itself is simple and clean and contains many American-type restaurants, museums, and malls. Nearby my residence is an archaeological site and other nearby ruins are well preserved. I will be secure.

               

                I'll begin my transition out of Gloucester relatively soon. I'll finish up a few retreats and begin to divest myself of possessions - once again. I will begin language studies in Arabic, which means I will probably just learn the alphabet. It is a whole new world. I'll have to learn to read backwards. It is going to make reading music look easy.

 

                I love the ministry of the Spiritual Exercises and I will continue it in Amman. I am delighted at my new endeavor and I will mourn the loss of budding and existing friendships. I feel like I am just entering into the life of the North Shore and the rich music world around us. My parents are of an age where they need additional visit. Please know I will often use Skype, email, phone calls, and yearly visits to keep you in my life.

 

                As Jesuits, we remain open to God's rich invitations. We are sent to the frontiers - both interior and exterior ones. We do it because the peace of Christ is with us each step of the way.