Thursday, December 21, 2017

Breathe Deeply and Trust

I gently wheeled my sleeping mother three feet away from clogged traffic to a nearby table where I could greet her when she awoke, but the slight movement startled her. "Jack, I think I'm dying."

"Yes. You are right."
"I didn't think I would ever see you again." "Why do you think that?" "Because I'm dying."
"I am here. It is OK."

Silence. "I'm gettin ready, but I'm not ready yet."
"That is O.K. You go when you are ready. You can tell God when you are ready to go."
"I can?" "Yes, you can. You just let God know and he'll take care of you."
"Just like that?"
"Just like that."
"I like how you speak. Your words make me comfortable."
"OK. I'm not ready yet. I don't want to leave anyone yet."

"What is it like to be dying?"
"I feel funny inside. Sometimes it is dark inside and it is growing, but sometimes it feels good."
"How you are feeling is O.K."

"I just don't want to forget any of you kids."
"O, no, you won't forget any of us. In fact, you'll remember more. You'll be closer to us than ever."
"Really?"
"Yes, of course. God is going to show you all the important stuff of our day every day. You'll be alive to God in a new way where you can see everything new."
"Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm good enough for God. I've had a pretty good life, mostly. I raised a good family, but sometimes I'm not sure."

"I think you need to trust God a little more."
"My sister always scared me. She made it so that I didn't want to close my eyes and fall asleep. She would scare me but I would always say, "I believe in you.'"

"Your sister is with God now, and she is on your side. She is probably telling God right now how much she loves you."
"I hope so."

"Would you like communion now?"
"Of course."

Afterwards...

"So what are you thinking?"
"I hope God accepts me. What do I have to do?"
"Just love people as much as possible. It is all about love, you know."
"Well, I'll try my best."

"Your love is important, but God's love goes beyond everything. God's love is very strong."
"He knows I've loved you kids."
"God's love will keep you connected to your family and loved ones. Do you know God's love doesn't end when one dies? It keeps going. Death is not an obstacle to God. Do you know that?"
"I like what you say. How can I trust more?"
"Just believe in God. It is all up to God. God's love can do amazing things. Just trust it. God keeps people connected through death. All you have to do is trust and breathe deeply."
"That's it?"
"Yes. That is it. It is kind of easy. God takes care of everything. With God, we have no worries. Just breathe in gently."

Three deep breaths later, my mother was sound asleep.


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