I made a contract

As I was driving to an event from Dorchester to South Boston today, a sentence entered my mind. It was "I made a contract." I made a contract with society that I would keep my neighbor safe. This thought affects my driving and other aspects of my life.

I was at a red traffic light, and a woman in a SUV was positioned to my right. As the light turned green, she took off with great speed, and I said to myself, "I made a contract." A traffic stop sign was a short distance ahead. She and I both approached it, but she was far in front of me, and she did not slow down. She passed through the stop sign, perhaps because she was able to do so with getting caught. I stopped at the sign.

The next traffic light approached. It was green, then yellow, then red, for a few seconds, and she ran through it, and so did the car after her. I stopped and waited. 

I often want to say to people, "Wait your turn."

Just because you can disregard traffic signals doesn't mean it is the best thing for society. I made a contract with society. I have to choose what will make society run smoother. 

As I continued onward, another car parked half in a legal space and half in a prohibited space. If I were in that situation, I would find another parking space. I then watched a car zigzag down the side street swerving from left to right before he finally double-parked and walked into a brownstone. I made a contract that I would not block traffic for my own individual purpose. All in all, I traveled 3 miles. 

I would rather that driver slow it down on South Boston streets because you cannot tell when a pedestrian will appear in between cars to cross the road. I admit that many Bostonian pedestrians are brazen and entitled, but I made a contract to keep them safe.

I drive too fast at times on highways, and yet I try not to stay in the left lane except to pass. I do get annoyed when a car drives slowly in the left lane. I also get annoyed when people decide not to communicate with me by using one's directionals. Why would you not want to tell me that you are going to suddenly change lanes by using your signals? Often you put me in harm's way. 

I could take liberties as others do, but I made a contract with society when I got my license. I could disregard rules and get away with it, and I would not feel proud. I want to feel proud of society and each person's commitment to making society protect others. 

17th. Annual Agape Fundraiser

 This is an organization from a high school friend, Lynne Guhman Voggu, who left the financial industry to set up an AIDS orphanage in India. She is holding a fundraiser in Brookline, MA on October 14th. I hope you consider a donation of any size.  

17th. Annual Agape Fundraiser Agape AIDS Orphanage

Such Goodness

When I arrived at Greenport, Long Island two weeks ago, my friends took me to Aldo's Coffeehouse, the flagship store for their enterprising business. Aldo, the owner, has incredibly white wispy hair that has become a trademark of the coffee. The place is a roasterie for coffee that is sold nationally and internationally. They also sell crispy croissants and scones - no variety, just one type, and they are quite good. The roasting of the eans attracts the best coffee connoisseur to the cafe for a moment of goodness. 

After we received our order, we decided to sit outdoors in the back patio that was elevated by 1x4 wooden slats. The aroma of roasted coffee wafted through the roof and settled upon us refreshingly. John sat across from me while Renee rose to get some napkins. As John was talking, he lowered his arm and I saw something move, but I did not know what happened because it was all so quick. John panicked as his wedding ring flew off his finger and in between the slats. He could not imagine how it happened as he was not fiddling with it and it did not easily slide over his knuckles. He just lowered his arm and his ring slipped off. Underneath the slats were piles of leaves that accumulated over time.

John, Renee, and I got on our knees with our phone flashlights to see if we could spot the ring. Nothing. No signs. Finally, Don, a handyman worker at the shop noticed what we were doing and came over to ask questions. He rose and went into action. He retrieved a pry bar and hammer and he started lifting the slats that were affixed professionally to the base. He lifted up the first bar and saw nothing. He lifted up the second one and the ring that denoted 38 years of marriage was sitting upon a leaf as if it were waiting to be re-discovered. John and Renee so happy. 

Don refused any expression of gratitude except to receive words of thanks. He did not have to go above and beyond in his level of service, but he made one couple very happy. We were all left with this immense feeling of goodness that permeates the world and such positive memories of being helped by a good soul. 

Fall 2022 Class: Compassionate Communications in times of Difficult Conversations.

 Fall 2022 Class: Compassionate Communications in times of Difficult Conversations.

 

Director: John Predmore, SJ

 

Start : September 14th 4:00 pm -5:00 pm

 

This Wednesday online afternoon series uses Zoom to teach us how to keep ourselves balanced in the midst of difficult conversations. We will examine what sort of information to take in, and to notice when conversations experience a power imbalance. We will negotiate and set boundaries, especially when dealing with someone else’s anger. We will review deep-breathing techniques to listen meaningfully and to develop understanding. We will learn how to use right speech to bring to sustain meaningful relationships.

 

The presentations will last 50 minutes, and the time will be interaction and responsive to the needs of the participants.

 

Register for the series, come when you can, drop out when you necessary. 

 

We will send you a reminder with the ZOOM information in the days preceding your event. You will need to have access to the ZOOM app on your computer or smart phone. (https://zoom.us/client/latest/ZoomInstaller.exe)

 

Dates:

 

            September 14^th

            September 28^th

            October 5^th

            October 19^th

            November 2^nd

            November 16th

Getting Over Jet Lag

 I'm back in Boston and getting over jet lag well enough. I have a lot of work to do so it is keeping me moving forward. The weather has been hotter than in the Middle East, but at least we have air conditioning in the house. 

I realized that when I was in Jordan, I did not often tune into the television, mostly Al Jazeera or the BBC, and it was like the old nightly news when you ran to catch it at 6:30 p.m. and you were done for the night. In the U.S., the news is all around all the time. And, so, I tuned out and shut it off.

As I was in the car yesterday, I turned on the radio and realized how much I missed it. I usually listen to talk radio. Unfortunately, it did not hold much interest for too long. The Sports Radio guys were yelling about each other about something inane so I turned to another station that talked about the pros and cons of shutting down the Orange rail line for a month. The conversation went on for too long so I turned that off as well. The only station I could leave on was Classical Music. I realized how much I missed good music, but all in all, I prefer silence.

Tragically, a 22 year old man died in a freak accident in Wyoming on an outdoor living certificate program. He graduated from BC High four years ago, just graduated from university, was getting his final experiments completed with his program when he was struck by lightning while tenting.

I visited friends in Duxbury, Massachusetts to say hello before visiting a retired Douglas High School teacher who is suffering from a major illness. 

The Red Sox have tanked and there is news that the Patriots offense is struggling. Summer is in full swing and these are easy carefree days for many. 

St. Ignatius Day

So, here it is, my last few hours in the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan and it is the Solemnity of Ignatius of Loyola. I know that Ignatius, (a name that means 'fire') had his heart set of living in the Holy Lands as his heart was set on fire for the Lord. I find it delightful that I get to be in the Holy Lands as Ignatius desired on his memorial day. 

He desired to "save souls" and to let people know of God's hope for each person. He saw the dignity in the Royalty as well as the destitute and the outcast. He saw a vision of the world as the God of mercy. The time of Ignatius was during the initial years of the Protestant Reformation and the discovery of the lands in the Americas, Africa, and Asia. He provided the world with "The Spiritual Exercises," a course of prayer that have healed souls over the centuries. By right, he ought to be a Doctor of the Church because of the wholeness and holiness he brought others.

So, I sit here with a few hours left in the Hashemite Kingdom and I'm soaking in the many graces I received during my time here. Ignatius asks us to let the graces sensibly wash over us as if they were physical, so that we deeply get the sense that God is showering us with blessings. The midday sun is strong and it is cool in the residence's garden level. The Jesuit Superior and I shared a celebratory lunch together, as lunch is the major meal of the day.

At this point, I have mass to say at 6:00 p.m. and we will have homemade brownies, donuts, and other pastries following the meal. I'm packed and ready to go to the airport, which will happen hours from now. I marvel at modern transportation. I'll head to the airport at 10:30 p.m. for a 2:30 a.m. flight to Doha, Qatar, with a 2.5 hour connection, which is just the right amount of time. The plane leaves Doha at 8:00 a.m. and I am back in Boston at 2:30 pm. All in all, a 19 hour flight complete in 12 hours. Jet lag is worse traveling from West to East, so I've done the worst part of the time adjustment.

So, here I wait and pray. I remember all who have entrusted prayers to me and many people who did not ask, but I still included them. All is good. All is calm. I'll spend the time breathing in the air of this land and breathing out deeply so that I appreciate all the goodness I have received.

Happy Ignatius of Loyola Day, my friends. I hope you enjoy this summer feast. 

A Last Supper

As this is a long weekend Islamic holiday in the Kingdom, I took a walk to Abdali Mall. I like it in the early morning when people are gathered at outdoor restaurants to breakfast. It is quite and peaceful for a Saturday and people seem to be in a good mood.

On the way up the hill to make a crossing to the next road, I finally saw my old barber. He is an elderly Syrian man who hasn't changed much over the years. I sang to him the Syrian national anthem, "Biktub" and he sang along with me without reservation. He then pointed out to me the priest who lives across the street as he was coming out of his house. The priest looked well groomed and prosperous. When I was leaving Jordan eight years ago, he gave me a pair of scissors as a gift. I thought that was very thoughtful. He gave me an essential part of who he is.

As I walked up the road, I marveled at some of the interior gardens of businesses and residences. The people seem to have a special relationship with their flowers and trees. Some people really like when pine trees are growing outside their windows. It gives them Zen moments where they just breathe deeply. Often they may have a tiny plot of land at the entrance to their house or on their patio, but they tenderly care for these plants as they become part of the family.

As I was not in a sure to get to the Boulevard, I noticed several young men pass by me. What is clear is that many people where functional cologne and lots of it. The reasons are understandable but it makes me want to only wear perfume instead of cologne when I return home. The differences are major. 

Abdali Boulevard was sleepy, just the way I like it. It is akin to being at Quincy Market in Boston at 8:00 a.m. when the buskers have not yet reached their kiosks. There's also promise in the air about expectations and hopes for the day. Most of the people who visit the Boulevard during these hours are either hotel visitors or residents of the luxury apartments. 

Children seem to light up when I wave to them. They sometimes shout out their names to tell me who they are as their parents politely bring them over to say hello. Starbucks and Contra Coffee are the two big coffee sellers, so I make sure I go into an Arabic coffeehouse to get a specialty made cappuccino or my favorite, a flat white, both decaf.

 Mass at St. Mary's Sweifieh was quite good. The church is becoming filled again as people are returning from COVID protocols. Many have taken vacation and now feel that travel and going outdoors is easy enough. It is nice to see the church at near capacity. There will be a new Arabic pastor and I think he will be a good fit for the parish. He is kind, gentle, and wise, and the people need that. If there is a deficit in the church life in Amman, it is that the church often does not teach people to pray. I think people need to be introduced to Ignatian Spiritual Direction.

Last night we had many visitors to the Church again, and we provided donuts to celebrate the Solemnity of St. Ignatius of Loyola who died on this date in 1556. We said the eighth day of the Novena and many were very happy with the prayers I put together for them. I fared them well and I said goodbye and people were upset that I was not staying longer. 

During Mass, I kept thinking to myself, almost gleefully: Ignatius wanted to get to the Holy Land to live and say Mass. Here I am living and saying Mass in the Holy Land. I offered my mass for his intentions and to share with him the joy of being in the place he longed to be.

Afterwards, some friends and I went to an Italian restaurant that was quite good. It naturally was outdoors and the food was well presented and well prepared. The chef was from Italy and he trains a number of people how to prepare Italian food, not the Arabic way, but the Italian way. The results are quite good. My steak filet was almost medium rare, the pumpkin ravioli were homemade, the tuna and greek salad was tasty, the cheese plate was drizzled with extra virgin olive oil, and the bresciola was a highlight. All was prepared to high standards and it was topped off with homemade gelato. The pistachio was better than I anticipated. 

I sat eating under the stars, with tall pines to serenade us, mosaics on the way, with ambient lighting while having fun conversations with good friends. It does not get better than this. It was a splendid way to honor St. Ignatius and the good people of the Holy Lands.