I left Jerusalem the other day and braced myself for a long day when I'd have to spend time languishing through security. It was uneventful and efficient.
I was curious about returning to Jordan. Did I now consider it home? I wanted to sleep in my own bed and have access to my possessions, but did I consider it home yet? I feel a little like a man without a home.
I find myself more accepting of the style of people. I was greeted by our cook who serves as a driver. He face was beaming when he saw me. I was glad to see him. We had a nice conversation in our broken languages.
I have navigated through an Arabic and a Hebrew speaking world successfully. I'm doing all right.
I was glad to see everyone in the community and the Jesuit Center. I really was. I was able to recognize that the people in Jordan are loud, and though I don't like it, I can accept it and find my places for quiet. It doesn't disturb me, but remains a curiosity. It is tested though when I have a bug (like the 48 hour one I'm suffering with now.) I just have to hibernate when people are around.
On my first night back I had dinner with a priest friend of mine and a parishioner friend. They are both sweethearts. I enjoy them and like to spend time with them. We ate at a fine and inexpensive Italian restaurant called Romero's. I'll go back. On a Monday night, all the seats were filled.
So, my trip to Jerusalem connected me to the larger Jesuit world. I like that. I feel connected with my brothers in Jerusalem and event with what is going on in Rome. The world seems a little larger, which I need once in a while.
Life in Jerusalem was much easier than in Jordan. I find it difficult to do just about anything here and my skills as a spiritual director tell me not to push too hard. When one is working too hard, you have to step back and ease up. In some ways, it is disappointing. I would like to bring spirituality and scripture study to the parish and follow through on some objectives, but most parishioners want life as it has been over the past two decades. I want more for them and for me so it is a great balancing act.
I think the trip taught me to take care of my interests and see what develops. I'm close to finding a choral group in which to sing, I'll begin art classes next week, and I'm going to work on decorating my space with plants and paintings. If I can enjoy my space and my life, maybe others will want to do more with theirs. It is leading by personal example rather than trying to lead others to where I want them to go. The shepherd only has so much control.
The analogy of jigsaw puzzle fits well what I am doing. It takes time to get everything sorted out and to build the frame, but once people begin to see the image emerge they will join in and participate.
At least it is beautiful to sit on the roof deck and read each morning. Just breathing in the morning air is invigorating. Once my bug leaves me (which I suspect will be over tomorrow), I'll be in good spirits.
Soon I'll write about what Jerusalem did to my faith, but I'll need some time for that.
Pray for the refugees.
Pray for the Israeli and Jordanian elections. Pray for peace. Be assured of my prayers for you.
Your sitting on the roof reminds me of other days when I also sat on a roof...
ReplyDeleteYears ago, I learned from a friend of mine that I had to start having fun myself for people to want to do the same. I pray that you be able to create what you're dreaming of creating. My experience is that I often had to leave when I had reached a certain equilibrium.
You can count on my prayers.
Several American friends who have spent time in Israel returned pro-Palestine... (You need not respond to this!)
Such places - Jerusalem and Amman. Your relationship with them is different from my own, as I only visited them both; you live in one and are close (yet far!) from the other.
ReplyDeleteComplicated places that I love. I pray for all.
They are quite different and each complicated in wholly distinct ways. It is a marvel to hold each one as separate and individual.
DeleteI hope by the time you read this that your bug has left you! It would be interesting to hear what you think about Israel and Palestine since you are so close to the situation. I know that you would be best not to comment on this but, having been to Israel twice in the last seven years I have my opinion. You can count on my prayers as well.
ReplyDeleteThe bug has mostly left me. Thanks. Yes, I have an incomplete portrait of the Israeli-Palestinian question. Each day I try to do my best with the information I have and I try to form and inform my conscience. Ideas and impressions have emerged which I will share with you. Both sets of people are friendly - just not to one another.
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