Pounding

The rain is pounding against my office windows. It is actually kind of frightening as if hail is in the rain. It sounds like it is gushing and pounding at the same time. The wind swirls violently too. I'm glad my windows are sealed without leakages.

One thing that is odd to me here in Amman: I cannot do anything by myself. If I try to sweep the floor because I moved the flower vase and petals fell to the floor, the housekeeper gets upset because she takes pride in her work. She won't let me finish. I'm used to cleaning up after myself.

Also, if I use pots and pans in the kitchen and the cook comes in, he'll please beg me to let him wash the dirtied cookware. It feels odd to me.

I don't want the housekeeper to come into my office because she will take every piece of paper and place it into one pile so it is nice and neat. Since she doesn't read English, I can't leave a note for her to tell her not to move the paper that is on my keyboard. All gets neatly organized and I have to spend a great deal of time separating them out.

I know they have pride in their work and I respect that. I'm just used to chipping in. There's no reason why we can't help out one another. In a place that lacks boundaries, many are tightly held in areas where you don't want them to be.

The same goes with the priesthood here. The priest cannot bring his plate or left-overs to the kitchen to be respectively cleaned or put away. Someone else must carry it because the priest ought not have to do that. If I'm walking to my car, someone comes running over to carry my bag or alb when I don't need help. Many people do this with many things. The priest is high above them and ought not to be involved in menial tasks.

This is not my style of priesthood. I like equality. I like enabling people to do what they did not think was in their realm before. For instance, if someone has never read or sung before, I encourage them to break out of their comfort zone and give it a shot. I like to be a priest who serves people - especially here in Amman when people have difficult lives. If a domestic worker spends her day cooking and cleaning, then why not let them sit back a bit and be served by others - just to give them a little comfort.

My more (I hope) liberated style of priesthood confronts an older model of power imbalance. For the most part, I'm not into power struggles - not deliberately, at least. I want people to assume the right type of responsibility and to help them navigate through the illusions that are often set up. Nothing is perfect, but I would like to be more of a companion and partner on the journey than an exalted one. We are all in this mess together. Let's also find the beauty together. Let's reach for our potential and celebrate our successes.